American Ideas and a Russian Winter
by RazzBurry
Summary: America has the bright idea to invite some other nations out for 'bonding'. This 'bonding' quickly turns into a disaster, as hunting in Russia in winter is not exactly a good idea. Pairings include RoChu, UsUk, and PruCan.


**Okay, so yeah, this is almost total crack, I just had a plot bunny and wrote it down like this so…. Yeah, add in some fluff and this little monster was born X3 **

**Pairings are RoChu, UsUk, and PruCan. Because I love those pairings :) (And I wanted to practice writing them some more before I go back and finish my other story '**_**The Beauty of Love, Lust, and Everything in Between**_**') yeah, YAOI, we all know the drill: don't like, don't read XD**

China's arms were wrapped firmly around himself, the red jacket he was wearing not nearly thick enough to keep the biting chill of the wind out. He was slightly bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, trying to keep warm.

"Yao~" He heard Russia call in a sing-song voice. China quickly walked over to him.

"I-it's f-freezing!" he exclaimed, clenching his teeth to keep them from chattering.

"Da," Russia laughed, "That is Russia in winter." He slowly unwrapped his cream colored scarf.

"Oh, you don't need to-" China stammered as Russia wrapped the scarf around the smaller nation.

"We are allies, da?" Russia remarked with a smile, "Allies should help each other," he paused before adding darkly, "would it help if I mentioned that I am also doing this for my benefit?"

"W-what?" China stammered, adjusting the warm scarf around his neck.

Russia smirked, "it shows the others that you are going to become one with Russia."

"NO!" China exclaimed helplessly, "I am not. Quit saying that!" he clenched his fists together, standing on his tiptoes to try and look threatening.

Russia patted him on the head with a gloved hand, "Yao is very cute."

"Stop saying things like that," China sighed angrily, he crossed his arms and settled back down, flat on his feet.

"Aw, why?" Russia asked in a sickeningly sweet tone, "it is the truth. My little Yao is very cute."

"I'm not _yours_," China grumbled, pulling the scarf up higher to shield his chin from the snow.

"Not yet," Russia purred with a grin.

"HEY! Dudes!" America called as he ran over, "Glad you guys could make it!"

America had recently decided to invite all, well _most,_ of the other nations out for some 'bonding'. His idea? Hunting. And camping. In Russia. In winter. Very extreme. And stupid. Which explained why most of the nations had declined to show.

Russia and China both agreed to show up; partially because it was being hosted in Russia's country and then they couldn't exactly have America out scheming with other nations about how to destroy them, could they?

America had forced Canada along, and England had offered to show up although he complained about it. They had no idea that in the van they had just been driving in, Prussia had stowed away. Mostly because he was under the assumption that it would be 'AWESOME', when, in truth, it would not.

"It is my country, America," Russia replied with an icy tone.

"Duh, I know that," America laughed with the wave of his hand.

"Bloody hell," England stammered, "It's so cold!"

"Do not act like a child, it is not so cold," Russia replied with a smile. It was his smile that made the insult even more demeaning.

"Russia is right," Canada remarked with a shrug, "It can, and probably will, get much colder."

"This weather is not fucking awesome," they heard a loud, and heavily accented, voice snap.

"Prussia?" Canada remarked softly as they all stared at the silver haired nation.

"I came to crash your stupid little… what did you call it? 'Bonding activities'," he remarked in a mocking tone, staring at America, "where are all of the other stupid nations?"

"Yeah, this is actually, kind of it, dude," America laughed with a grin. As though the fact that his grand 'bonding activities' had already, in effect, failed did not faze him.

"What?" Prussia scoffed, "This is not an 'awesome gathering of nations'. This is a fucking shamble."

"C'mon, dude, there are now five of us! That's pretty good, right?" America laughed with a grin.

"You forgot about Canada, you moron," Prussia snapped.

"Oh, um, yeah, Canada, so there's six of us then. That's not _too_ bad," America remarked with a grin.

"How many did you invite?" China asked as he shivered.

"Um, yeah, doesn't really matter," America said with an even louder laugh, "let's move on now."

"America is just embarrassed that most of the other nations do not like him," Russia remarked, still smiling away.

"Oh, really?" America scoffed, "I'm a hero. They love me. It's _you_ they don't love. They probably didn't come because it's in Russia."

"Then why did _you_ pick Russia, you bloody git!" England exclaimed with a frown.

"It's the only place that's extreme enough for the awesome hunting I want to do!" he exclaimed, "They're got grizzly bears and stuff! But if I would have known that it was going to scare every other nation away I would have just picked the good ol' USA!"

"Canada has bears too," Canada whispered softly, "It's comparable."

"So, anyway, Russia, I can't believe that you scared everyone off, but I guess we're going to have to manage!" America sighed dramatically.

"Hm," Russia murmured as he tilted his head, "does not matter if Russia scares them away. World will become one with Russia anyway."

"You really can't say things like that," China sighed.

"China becomes one with Russia first, da?" Russia remarked as he looked at the dark haired nation expectantly.

"N-No!" China stammered angrily, "I already told you that! Become one with China if you want!"

Russia paused for a while before bluntly stating, "No."

"See?!" China exclaimed, "Now you understand!"

"No. I do not," Russia replied, "Yao is being silly. Why would Russia become one with China? China will become one with Russia."

"I said NO," China fumed.

"Does not matter," Russia laughed, "my little Yao will change his mind, kolkokolkolkol~" every nation, other than Prussia, shuddered at the strange aura emitting from the Russian.

"Um! Okay, all that weird communist stuff aside, let's go inside this cool cabin I rented!" America exclaimed. They all managed to be silent, other than America babbling, as they walked up the frigid, snow covered hill to the cabin America had rented.

"It… um, looks nice, Alfred," Canada remarked, trying to be nice.

Everyone else just stared at the exceptionally small wooden thing in front of them. "Well, at least it has a fireplace," China sighed.

"And nothing else I'd expect," England sighed, "do you know how bloody small that thing is, America?"

America shrugged, "I figured we'd be outside most of the time." He walked up the rickety steps and onto the porch as he tried to find the key to the worn down house.

Canada walked up next to him, only his foot slipped through the decaying steps, he managed to pull his foot back only to slip backwards, "Oof!" he let out a gasp as he fell back into Prussia. Prussia looped his arms around the other nation's waist and managed to catch him without falling over himself.

"America!" Prussia huffed, "This is a fucking deathtrap!" Canada looked up at Prussia as his cheeks flushed red.

"U-um, thank you," Canada whispered.

"No problem, Birdie," Prussia replied with a smirk, his arms still around Canada. The smaller nation's blush deepened at the nickname Prussia had just given him.

"There we go!" America exclaimed as he turned the knob and pushed the door open with a rusty creak. He walked into the small house. "Okay, so it's a little bit smaller than I was expecting," he admitted as he poked his head out of the door.

"I'm still nervous about those stairs," England pointed out with a scoff, "What if someone else's foot slides through, only a piece of wood gets stuck in it and… Bloody hell."

Prussia planted his hands on Canada's waist and lifted the other up. He carefully set him on the porch, thus bypassing the 3 dangerous stairs. He then put his hand on the railing and jumped up onto the porch, "Look, the awesome Prussia found a way up," he remarked with a smug grin.

China shrugged as he walked over to the stairs, he effortlessly ascended them, his feet barely seeming to touch. He stood up on the porch and looked at Russia; smugly knowing that being light and small would finally be an advantage over the Russian.

"Would you like to go next, England?" Russia asked with a smile.

"Yes, better injure myself sooner rather than later," he grumbled sarcastically as he looked at the three daunting steps. He gripped the railing as he carefully walked up, making sure to not rest all of his weight on one stair. With due time, and caution, he reached the top.

Russia shrugged as he just walked up the stairs, which only groaned under his weight, but did not break. Every other nation stared. "How did they not break?" China exclaimed, slight bitterness in his voice that he was not able to outdo Russia.

"These silly stairs were too scared of Russia to break," Russia remarked adding a soft, "kolkolkolkol~"

"It's not only the stairs that are scared," England muttered as his eyes widened.

Finally, all of the nations entered the small house. They all stared, the small space was made up of one dingy unlit fireplace, _one_ simple bed, a nightstand, a rug, and then what appeared to be a bathroom. The problem being the 'bathroom' was really just a hole in the ground.

"Is this for fucking real?" Prussia gaped.

"Okay! So I'm going take the bed, you guys can share the floor!" America exclaimed.

"No, America," Russia stated firmly, "We are in Russia, da? I am taking the bed. Kolkolkolkol~"

"U-uh, yeah, whatever," America stammered.

"Of course, Yao, can share with Russia if he wants to," Russia remarked as he looked at China.

"What!? NO!" China exclaimed, "I'd rather freeze," he replied haughtily.

Russia laughed, "We shall see, it is very cold in Russia." He smiled darkly, he leaned closer to China, "and you are still in my scarf." China just gaped, struggling to say anything.

"I cannot believe the awesome Prussia was pulled into this bullshit," Prussia grumbled.

"Aw, c'mon, guys!" America exclaimed, "This isn't so bad! Tomorrow we're going to go hunting, and that'll be fun!"

"If we survive through the night," England grumbled.

"What? Why wouldn't we survive?" America remarked.

"I don't know, because we're in the middle of Russia in an old shack, with next to nothing. And we'll all probably freeze. Other than you, fat ass, because you have a built up storage of body fat," England fumed as he glared at America.

"Actually, Russia is confident he will not freeze," Russia replied with a grin.

"Okay, _England_ will probably freeze," England groaned as he put his hand on his forehead, "Why do I let myself get pulled into all of this ridiculous nonsense?"

It was later when the nations had all unloaded their packs , most had only brought a few supplies, as per America's request, and they had had taken up the next priority of trying to light the fire. The first mistake was America not opening the flue which caused a burst of smoke to pour back into the tiny house. After that it was Canada who successfully managed to open the flue and _then_ light the fire. Finally, they were all settled around the fire, too close to the nation next to them for anyone's comfort.

Finally, it was Russia who spoke: "I am not sure if keeping the fire on at night is a good idea."

"Well if we don't we're all going to freeze," China retorted.

"This cabin is really only wood, wood catches fire, da? I'm pointing out that accident could happen," Russia remarked with a shrug.

"Now I don't have to only worry about freezing, but also catching on fire!" England exclaimed angrily.

"Okay, dudes, what's the likelihood the whole place is going to combust in flames? Really, c'mon, it totally won't," America exclaimed.

"W-well…" Canada murmured, "It is possible…"

"Okay, then we'll just keep the fire very low while we sleep," China remarked slowly.

"I suppose that will have to do," Canada agreed.

"I thought this was going to be awesome," Prussia grumbled as he flopped back, laying down on the rug, "Or that I was going to make it awesome."

Canada leaned over slightly and tugged on Prussia's sleeve as he whispered, "u-m… you did make it a lot more awesome…"

Prussia grinned, "Well, thanks, Birdie." He paused before adding quietly, "if you wouldn't have been here then… yeah, it wouldn't have any chance of being awesome."

China's cheeks flushed a light pink, "Um, th-thanks," he whispered.

So the nations sat in the cabin, which was starting to cool as the fire went down. They sat there, staring at the flames, without talking for quite a while.

Until Russia finally spoke, "Oh, well, I am going to bed now, good night," he remarked as he stood up from the circle America, Canada, China, America, and he had been sitting in. Russia walked over to the bed and laid down on it, unraveling the warm blanket that he had packed.

China shivered, pulling the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders closer. The fire was now just a few light red sparks, no one had tended it because, although some wouldn't admit it, they were nervous about the cabin bursting into flames. All of the nation sat with a few inches between them, not wanting to get any closer.

"Hey, Birdie," Prussia muttered from where he was laying on the floor.

"Yeah?" Canada whispered as he leaned over.

"Are you cold?" Prussia asked, opening one of his ruby colored eyes.

"Oh, no," Canada replied softly with a smile, "I'm Canadian! I don't really get cold."

Prussia propped himself up on his elbows, "Really, not even a little?" he asked, leaning closer. Canada's cheeks flushed a light pink.

"W-well, I guess, I, um, kind of am," he whispered as he eased himself down next to Prussia. Canada's blush grew as Prussia wrapped his arm around him. A part of Canada hoped no one would see, because he knew America would probably tease him to no end.

China leaned against the back of the bed, pulling his blanket closer. He stay like that, shivering, for a long time before he finally gave up and stood up. He crept over to the side of the bed.

"Ivan," he muttered, poking the large Russian in the side.

"Hm?" Russia murmured sleepily.

"Scoot over," China grumbled, trying to push Russia over as he crawled onto the bed.

"No," Russia replied with a smile, not opening his eyes, "Yao can sleep on top of me, da?"

"What?" China hissed, "No. Scoot over," he huffed as he tried harder to push Russia over.

Russia, in response, rolled over on top of China, "hmmm…." He muttered sleepily.

"OW!" China gasped through clenched teeth. "Get off!" he quietly hissed. He put his hands on Russia's shoulders and tried to force him off.

Russia wrapped his arms around the smaller nation and rolled over, pulling China on top of him. "You are cold," Russia murmured, eyes still closed, with a smile.

China laid his head down on the other nation's chest, his arms slowly creeping around Russia's neck, "I know. I'm just doing this for warmth."

"Da, of course," Russia laughed, "not at all because you want to become one with me," he said the last part in a quiet purr by China's ear.

China blushed, "I-I don't." then he heard the Russian unzipping his jacket. "What are you doing!? Keep your clothes on!" China softly hissed. He quit talking as he nestled against Russia, the other nation zipping his large jacket back up around them both. "This doesn't mean anything," China muttered sleepily against Russia's neck.

"Yes it does," Russia replied, his arms tightening around the smaller nation.

"Fine then," China sighed, "But I'm not becoming one with Russia."

"Oh, my little Yao," Russia said in a low hum, "yes you will."

"Can we agree to disagree?" China mumbled.

"I am not agreeing to anything," Russia said with a soft laugh.

"I'm just going to go to sleep now," China huffed.

Russia leaned down and kissed his forehead, "good night."

America was laying on the floor of the cabin, he was close to the fire, but that wasn't really warm anymore and he was starting to get really cold. He sat up and looked around, Canada was curled up next to Prussia, England was laying a few feet away, and then he didn't know where China was. He peeked up and saw one really big lump on the bed, so either Russia had eaten China and gotten super fat or it was two people. He flopped back down, why was he all alone freezing when someone like _Russia_ was warm?

"Hey, Arthur," America called toward the Brit.

"What is it, you bloody wanker?" England replied tiredly.

"Do you want to snuggle?" America asked as he crawled over, closer to England.

"No!" England exclaimed loudly in response, "Are you daft? I do not want to snuggle with _you_."

"Really?" America muttered as he scooted closer, "are you totally sure?" he asked.

"Of course I'm sure, you git!" England fumed as he turned away from America.

America laid down right next to him and put his arm around the other nation, "I don't believe you," America muttered against England's hair.

"Unhand me!" England shouted as he turned over and pushed America away.

America frowned, "Okay… I'll be sleeping right here… so if you want to snuggle later…"

England huffed, "I will most definitely _not_ want to snuggle!"

The minutes ticked by, until England heard America fall asleep, the other nation just inches away from him. England stared at the face of his old colony, he was hit with a rush of melancholy and regret. He frowned, of course he cared about America. He had been his colony. He scooted closer to the younger nature and carefully wrapped his arms around him, his head settling in the crook of America's neck. He just didn't want him to freeze. That was all the gesture was. Of course, that's just what England told himself.

"Dude," America muttered loudly in the Brit's ear, "we're snuggling."

"AH!" England yelped in surprise, "Now we most certainly are not!" he huffed, trying to push America away; however, America just firmly locked his arms around England. England then stopped moving as he settled back down. "F-fine, you daft wanker," He stammered.

America just grinned as he fell asleep.

It was the next day they realized that America hadn't actually packed any hunting supplies and they were forced to leave without any of the 'extreme' hunting he had promised. And, although both Canada and Russia had their own hunting gear, they were not going to tell America that. None of them wanted to spend any more time in that freezing cabin.

**Oh god, this was total crack and fluff X3 sorry if it sucked! I just really wanted to practice writing some more UsUk and PruCan. (and I love RoChu too much to not write about them XD)**

**Oh! Sorry I didn't have China saying 'aru' it's so annoying to write X( (plus, technically, Chinese people only say it when speaking Japanese) **

**Um, yeah, please review?**


End file.
